counselling, psychotherapy, life coaching, supervision

The 100% rule for good communication between partners and others

For productive, rewarding (challenging) conversations, try observing this little rule. Warning: It only sounds simple! Each party to the conversation holds themselves and the other(s) to be 100% responsible for what they do and for what they feel. Among other things, this rule vetoes my holding someone else responsible for ... Read More >

Exposure: Questions and Answers

I imagine there's a scale that applies to all of us. It measures our tolerance to what I like to call 'exposure'. In mountain climbing, the higher the degree of exposure, the more challenging and dangerous our route is. That's mainly a scale of physical exposure, but with some strong psychological ... Read More >

Who am I?

I believe I spent years barking up the wrong tree on this question, imagining that there must be a definitive answer that I could learn so that I could put it down on paper or tell it to you – or myself! Of course I can give you all sorts of ... Read More >

‘Attention Feeds’

'Attention feeds' – This is how Roberto Assagioli describes a fundamental psychological law. Assagioli was the founder of Psychosythesis, an approach to counselling and psychotherapy. This law says that paying attention to something is like watering a plant – what we're watering tends to grow: If it's a worry, or a ... Read More >

On wanting happiness

'All I want is to be happy.' – That statement and variations of it crop up again and again in sessions. It seems clear and reasonable and a completely understandable motive for coming to counselling, but it's a can that usually does not contain what it says on the label. ... Read More >